I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
