I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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