maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
