I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
