remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
i think im in europe. pls send help
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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