Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
