yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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