i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
