What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
