smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
