Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
