yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
