awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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