why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
