So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
