i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
These tits shall not be calmed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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