oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
