how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
As shirtless as possible
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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