The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
