take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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