too bad you live with your parents still
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
