You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
