Little spoons don't ask big questions
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
