I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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