oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize