it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
