White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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