Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
