Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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