I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
