you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
