Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
