Where did you get a picture of my penis
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
