I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
