Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
do nipples grow back?
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