did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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