i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
