Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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