I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She bit a glass in half.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
