You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
