Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
