I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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