hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
