I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
