I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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