Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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