if i died would you start the facebook group?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
