Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
