I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
soo... how was my night?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
