the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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