TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
