The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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