so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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